My 5 year old daughter, Alice, is what many people classify “spirited.” Spirited is the nice name for what others would negatively classify as “high-energy,” “spastic,” “hyper-active,” and even the dreaded “ADD/ADHD.” I know she is not ADD/ADHD because a) her doctor told me she’s not, and b) she is very capable of focusing on a wide variety of activities, projects, and tasks when given them – something that an ADD/ADHD kid would not be able to do. Her problem, surprisingly enough, is the fact that she is extremely intelligent (and I’m not just saying that cause I’m her mom, she really is about a year more advanced than her fellow 5-year-olds) which often – and I mean OFTEN – leads to plain old boredom. And boredom then morphs into unfocused, irritating, and down-right spastic behavior. When her intelligence is not engaged she can become, let’s be honest here, a spaz! Mix that with a very independent personality that also likes to challenge authority, and it feels like some days we have a little monster on our hands! For example, it seems that the most trying times with Alice are when we eat dinner. Our family meals become filled with, “Alice, sit up…Alice, stop playing with your fork…Alice, don’t play with your food…Alice, sit up…Alice, JUST EAT YOUR FOOD!” And let me tell you about how she views our living room and our furniture – can we say friggin jungle gym?! She is constantly running around, jumping on and off things, and rolling around on the floor and on the furniture. If we’re just hanging out in the living room together either watching TV or just talking, this girl literally cannot SIT STILL while! But sit her down with a stack of library books, a craft or puzzle, a math workbook, or her children’s Bible study book and she instantly becomes calm, engaged, and focused. This makes it clear to me that my job as her mom is to do whatever it takes to give my daughter as much time and attention that I can in order to help channel her energy in a positive way. Of course, the issues is that I am not always able to give her attention when she wants me to. That's just a reality - I work full-time, have to manage a household, and have a 6-month-old baby. Thus our challenge. It is what it is, and we do our best. Some days we do better than others.
I have surrendered myself to the fact that Alice is going to be a bit challenging at times … and maybe a lot of the time. But I am confident that her “spirited” nature will eventually become the very qualities that make her a successful adult, friend, wife, and (hopefully one day) mother. The challenge is how to get through those spastic, irritating days. So how do I properly redirect her craziness without totally stifling the positive aspects of being “spirited"? The answer … as generic as it may seem … is WITH GOD’S HELP and with the truth captured in the Serenity Prayer:
“Lord, grant me the serenity to know the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Alice is an amazing little girl. She is so funny, smart, and sweet. I cannot change who she is, but I can seek God's wisdom for how to help mold, shape, teach, direct, and encourage her. So that is what I will do. And every time I look at these, my favorite pictures of Alice that capture her amazing spirit, I am reminded that no matter how crazy and spastic she can be at times, she has so many truly great qualities that drown out all of the qualities others (and even myself at times if I am honest with myself) would classify as negative.
She is my Alice.
She is my gift from God.
Always has been…always will be.
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